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You’re here for the books. You thought you were here for the movies meaning years of dipping all of my dollar bills in C₁₁H₁₇NO₃ and then spreading them around the world has finally paid off. But you’re here, so it’s time to annouce that this whole thing is about books. I could get super poetic (and make your eyeballs bleed in agony) about the importance of books and literature to society and the decline of literacy in Modern America, but that would just be beating some dead horses. And I happen to have a little soft spot for those living poop factories. 

Books are a source of entertainment. Like any form, (movies, plays, television shows, music, opera) it can function on several levels of existence.

It can be so good that it reveals something about the human condition and speaks to us all on a deeply personal level (meaning it will make no money).

It can be kind of okay, good for passing the time or expanding your vocabulary (meaning it will make an okay amount of money, especially if it is a part of a series).

It can be horrible and boring and cliché and not worth any interest at all (meaning it will develop a cult following, made up of people I really hope the FBI has files on).

Add make tons of money apparently.

Or it can be a story, full of exciting plots and interesting characters and exotic locations that seize the national consciousness and encourages people to actually start reading again (meaning it makes more money than I can ever hope to see in my life).

Be honest. How many of you knew this was  a book? 

But the most important thing about books as an entertainment source is this: they have fans.

When Hollywood is looking for the next blockbuster idea, they turn to books because it’s a safe bet. Even if the premise is awful and no one else goes to see the movie, Hollywood has a certain guarantee that the fans will show up. And we do. Without fail, anytime some book is made into a movie, I will fork over ten dollars for the ticket and an ungodly amount for stale popcorn and watch that movie. Even if I can tell from the promos that it is going to be bad. Even then. 

There may have been other factors here. 

This is not about Hollywood’s lack of originality. Sometime a lot can be added to the story by adding that visual element. Sometimes. But more often than not Hollywood writers are nothing more than hacks who chop a book up into little pieces and contract out to some necromancers to raise what they call a movie from the remains. And they don’t apologize about it.

Our cries made them stronger. 

That’s the biggest deal. No one cares if the fans are upset. We’re just freakish fanboys that have no lives and a compulsive need to make a shitstorm over every little change. Who cares what we think?

Well, from now on, I do. I care that source material has been shamelessly torn to shreds and this is my favorite book in name only. I care that the characterization is wrong, the plot details are wrong, the music is wrong, the ending is changed. Certainly there will be many of you who will call me a fangirl with no life and a computer. You are wrong. I am a fangirl with no life and a laptop. And with that laptop I will stake out my claim in cyberspace, analyzing the good and the bad in the many movies made from books so that maybe someday, some Hollywood team will take care with making books into movies because they worry about what I might say about in review (and then a movie will be made about it, making me appear like a whinny desperate skinny redhead by contrasting my life with some prominent, beloved public figure who spoke charmingly with an accent).

That’ll teach them.

(Psst. If you have any idea for a post, feel free to leave a comment suggesting something.)